She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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