i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
