wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
