Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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