does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
