were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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