I think I won the penis lottery.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
