It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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