The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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