i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize