M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I was not drunk enough for that final.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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