U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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