Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
