I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
