that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
