He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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