Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
