i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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