Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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