i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
