So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
