remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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