just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
