I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
