that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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