Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry slutfacemctits69 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(405): View more from Oklahoma

I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...

Fav 16 3550 905
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.

Fav 56 4732 807
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.

Fav 28 3794 1937
share tweet
(804): View more from Virginia

Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?

Fav 26 1679 4657
share tweet
(518): View more from New York

i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.

(202): View more from Washington, DC

and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with

Fav 10 1890 3771
share tweet
(603): View more from New Hampshire

should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?

Fav 26 12175 2165
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(406): View more from Montana

He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.

Fav 14 1640 3474
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?

Fav 0 190 233
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(094): View more from

He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out

Fav 0 65 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT