We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
