question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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