you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
tell me about the fingering
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