have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
