haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
