i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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