dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
And then he peed in my hair
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