I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
