We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
