I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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