Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I didn't notice because vodka
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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