Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
