I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
