We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize