Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
