why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize