giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
