did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
