you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
