Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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