every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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