Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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