the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
