our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
