I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
