I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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