Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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