Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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