Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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