just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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