i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
