Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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