is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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