You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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