The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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