i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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