I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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