just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
