Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize