I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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