p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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