I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
