he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
