so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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