New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
