I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
