grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Randomize