i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
babies were throwing up all over the place
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
