u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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