it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My vagina is very pro this idea
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