So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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