Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
